Bigger Desks Needed for Fat UK Schoolchildren
Schools in the UK need to buy bigger desks and chairs because "children are getting too fat for furniture used in most classrooms." Led by former Cabinet minister Charles Clarke, the commission on the future of education called on schools to "refit classes with sturdier chairs and higher tables to curb a rise in the number of youngsters suffering bad backs."
The story gets better—former Cabinet minister Charles Clarke "himself has a rather portly stature despite recent weight loss and has been nicknamed 'two pizzas' for his generous appetite," The Daily mail reports.
You know, fuck it. Forget better nutrition, teaching healthy eating habits, and physical exercise. Just make the chairs fucking bigger. Or give em Wall-E hover chairs so they don't even have to walk. [via]