Burger King's Angry Whopper Fails to Elicit Anger

Craig Hlavaty writing for the Houston Press, tries to get worked up to properly enjoy Burger King's new Angry Whopper:

I thought it only fair that I partake in the Angry Whopper in an appropriately angry mood. I walked about a mile from the office down Travis at lunchtime, where my trip would be halted repeatedly by homeless people asking for change, and Suburbans barreling out of parking garages. They would come within inches of knocking me clear out of my worn-out Chuck Taylors that I wore on purpose since they have become uncomfortable and agitating. I ordered my Angry Whopper on a debit card that has little money on it; barely enough to maybe buy me a tank of gas to get to work, let alone pay my past due cell phone bill. I made sure to wear three layers of clothes, the outer one being a wool sweater on a warm day. To top it off, I made sure while I was walking to think of every one that has wronged me during my short time here on Earth and reflect on all of their individual transgressions. Men and women alike. Especially women. While I am writing this, I am listening to Slayer and Sean Hannity.

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