The Joy of Chicken Slaughtering [youtube]
We were reading hipster butcher Tom Mylan's recent piece in Gourmet about how he used YouTube as a research tool to learn about how to slaughter a live chicken. Why did he do this? Because "for some reason people assume that because I know how to butcher whole pigs or sides of beef, I also have some sort of clue about killing and gutting animals." He writes:
Well into my third tumbler of bourbon, I find what I’ve been looking for: a video of two guys in a backyard, slightly intoxicated, processing chickens with little more than a knife, a hose, and, yes, a bright orange traffic cone. The man gutting the chicken is making a heavy-metal face and spraying water into the air, singing, “We’re going DOWN to the CHICKEN FA-A-ARM!!!” Suddenly I’m home. They aren’t well prepared, or earnest, or even sober, but they are having a great time killing and gutting chickens... the whole thing seems infinitely more possible because, honestly, if these guys can do it, anyone can.
Of course, Gourmet didn't provide a link to the video that Mylan waxes so eloquently about. But like many things on the web, it's sometimes more about the journey, so we hopped on over to YouTube and settled in to watch countless chicken snuff films, perhaps following a similar path to Mylan's, hoping to come across the guy singing “We’re going DOWN to the CHICKEN FA-A-ARM!!!"
Well, we found the video, and it's almost as good as Mylan described, which we proudly embed in all its high-quality glory after the jump.
There's a surprising amount of chicken-based gore on YouTube — blood and guts abound! Heads being chopped off with axes, necks being broken, chickens literally running around with their heads cut off! Guys dressed in camo, armed with only a knife, skillfully skinning a chicken while blasting Lynyrd Skynyrd (yes, really). But this one is, by far, the best.
Video: Kevin Smith gutting a chicken