Fabio Viviani's Cafe Firenze Cookbook by the Numbers
Top Chef Season 5 contestant, Fabio Viviani, and his partner Jacopo Falleni have self-published a cookbook of recipes from their Moorpark, California restaurant. The Cafe Firenze Cookbook: Food and Drink Recipes from the Tuscan Sons (buy at Amazon), in the works long before Top Chef fame came calling, is intentionally funny; according to Viviani, people who read the book "need diapers. They pee themselves." Well, Fabio, we're not quite sure we're always laughing with you, but it is an entertaining read nonetheless.
Number of photographs of ex-Top Chef contestant Fabio Viviani in his new cookbook, Cafe Firenze: 19
Number of photographs in which it's implied that he recently caught fish from the ocean with his bare hands: 2
Number of photographs in which he is astride, or next to, a motorcycle: 2
Number of photographs of Viviani's partner, co-author and mixologist Jacopo Falleni: 25
Number in which he is juggling bottles of Malibu: 9
Number in which he is staring seductively at the camera: 3
Number of recipes for chicken dishes: 0, because Fabio "is not sure that the chicken you will use and feed your kids has been raised properly".
Number of edible garnishes for drinks: 8
Number on inedible garnishes for drinks, usually due to being made out of raw squash or watermelon rind: 12
Number of pages which appear to be full page, paid-for advertisements for liquor: 6
The distance at which American Quarter Horses excel at sprinting: 1/4 mile.
The number of hours William Shatner and his family rode their Quarter Horses before eating at Cafe Firenze for the first time, thus making them "cowboy hungry": 3
Amount of time Shatner most likely spent on his foreword: 10 minutes.
Season of Top Chef that featured Fabio Viviani: 5
Place Fabio achieved: 4th
Number of Quickfire Challenges Fabio won: 0
Number of Elimination Challenges Fabio won: 2
Number of times Fabio mentions Top Chef in the book: 0, although he does thank Bravo in the (lengthy) acknowledgments.
Number of pages until you reach an actual recipe: 43
Number of inspirational pull quotes: 36
Number that mention Italy: 3
Number that mention wine/booze/drinking: 4
Number that are courtesy Jacopo Falleni: 4
Number of grammatical or spelling errors: Innumerable.
Satisfaction gained from reading a celebrity cookbook that isn't uber-polished and actually has some personality: Infinite.