Grant Achatz Caption Contest

achatz-caption

Grant Achatz posted the above photo to his yfrog account, and it's just calling out to be captioned. We figured it would make for a good contest! Best caption left in the comments wins a slightly-worn copy of the Alinea Cookbook (but still nice enough for regifting! We promise!). Make sure to use your real email address. You've got 24 hours.

Update: We have a winner!

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50 Comments

Comment Feed

  1. DBSweeney

    "And then my sous chef, Juan-Carlos, will slice your sternum open like so resulting in a beautiful carpaccio of victory."

  2. C. W.

    Grant is unimpressed by The Hangar crew's moves.

  3. Johnson

    Your dashing hair is no match for my kung fu grip

  4. Adam

    Alinea decides to class things up by offering a dinner theater version of "West Side Story" - cue the gangs...

  5. "you put the lime in the coconut..."

  6. Clutterer

    I know you haven't done your own grocery shopping in awhile, but this, my friend, is how one grips a shopping cart.

  7. This is how I grab mine. How do you do it in America?

  8. [Read in a Brooklyn accent] "Nice restaurant you got here, shame if something happened to it."

  9. Jimmy

    So... You're telling me that there's a good barber in Austria?

  10. Justin

    And then I put the whole pan of sweetbread puree in the PacoJet???

  11. eli

    Hanger7 Chef:The dish is an amouse bouche of foie gras foam,sous vide alligator,powdered rose petals,burnt crystalized ginger encapsulated in a duck fat shell that explodes in your mouth
    Achatz: I should have never left Alinea.

  12. Pel

    I'm your biggest fan! "Hunky Dory" & "Young Americans" were my favorite albums growing up. I used to keep all your albums in a custom-made padded carrying case so that they wouldn't get scratched, or cracked, or...

  13. gina

    They told him don't you ever come around here
    Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear
    The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear
    So beat it, just beat it

  14. Kelley Riebel

    I'm not going to shiv a guy for you, no matter how much fun you make it sound.

  15. Tom

    So explain again this "Hot Kartoffel, Cold Kartoffel"

  16. Kelley Riebel

    You mean even Andrew Zimmern won't eat it?

  17. so, i have to either hold it like this without moving for five and a half hours over a diffused induction burner, or i can just mail order some propylene glycol alginate?

  18. Paul L.

    We are even more forward-thinking here than you, we even use invisible pots and pans to cook with.

  19. William Hnat

    Grant: No seriously, that's the worst idea I've ever heard.

  20. Sherkaner

    Although to onlookers the chef-to-the-death match had not begun, each knew in the gaze of the other who would emerge victorious. In his mind... Grant was already serving dessert.

  21. mark

    "Ok, Mr 'I-can-taste-food-without-using-my-tongue', look me right in the eye and tell me.. which of these hands is holding your phone."

  22. Tim

    At Alinea's annual dance off, Grant Achatz gets Served.

  23. "He asked for a cup of sugar, do I need to show you how to give him a cup of sugar"

  24. Thinks Achatz: " Man, has he put on some weight. He looks just like Jason Jones from the Daily Show."

  25. Daniel

    Though everyone knew it, no one had the courage to tell Grant there was something wrong with his set of "Invisible Knives".

  26. "Okay, Mrs. Roberts next door is tired of lending us a cup of sugar all the time. Maybe we should start buying some ourselves."

  27. Danny

    Why take it easy when you can just take it.

  28. Blake Eggemeyer

    If I ever see you try that on a consommé again I'll have you washing dishes and mopping floors for a week.

  29. Ingrid

    "And if we ever see you Creams mixing around on Balsamic territory again, we'll curdle you into cottage cheese."

  30. Jeff

    "...and then you pipette the fig foam onto the flash-frozen crème brûlée 'plate.'"

  31. Moira

    Sarah, Daniel, and Sherkaner - your captions made me laugh out loud. I wish I had thought of something even half as funny.

  32. Mo

    "It would be great, you guys, if we could get an actual stove. You know, with burners and everything."

  33. ND

    Head to Toenail: In the ultimate act of a chef sublimating his ego to his vision, Grant Achatz watches calmly as the staff of Salzburg's Hangar7 practices his painstaking directions for carving up his own midsection -- the night's final course. Remarkably, because Achatz has taught the staff a next-generation, known-only-to-Achatz technique for butchering without making any incisions, the chef himself will be completely unharmed by the evening's cooking.

  34. "Yeah, That's what she said."

  35. David Maple

    ..."so Mr. Achatz let me try to explain once again. You maybe be on the cutting edge in the movement of menu item construction but I know how to deconstruct a Pig and you have to start by holding its' ears like so."

  36. And you see right here my friend? This I will beat you in this battle. I challenge you to a dance cook off. Now...break!

  37. Okay, listen here Prince Valiant, the other Black Knights and I will charge in with our sabers and angle down to get through the chain mail near the soft liver area, then you go to the tower and free the truffles.....

  38. Check it, Goldilocks, my look only took 3 hours today because you really just gotta grab hold and buckle down when it comes to man-scaping your hair.

  39. "It is the most amazing thing! It is called a Hamburger, and you put it on the flattop and let it cook, and halfway through you take this thing called a spatula and you grip it like this, and you slide it under the Hamburger and you flip it! And when it's all cooked you put it on a bun with these things called condiments, and you eat it! It's flippin amazing, and it tastes really good!"

  40. Adam

    Asked under whom he trained, the chef proceeds to demonstrate everything he learned about cooking by watching Under Siege.

  41. "Well, after the oil caught on fire, I tried to put it out with water, and well...."

  42. Sean

    Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You cooked my father. Prepare to die.

  43. David

    "Go ahead, chef. Guess which hand your cell phone's in."

  44. Val Cantu

    The newest Achatz innovation: Never-Never-land inspired invisible food.

  45. Carolyn Randolph

    Grant, you don't understand the power of the Dark Jacket.

  46. Carolyn Randolph

    Jedi-staring, invisible-turkey carving contest, ready, go!

  47. Val

    ‘Yo Grant, I’m really happy for you. I’mma let you finish, but David Chang had one of the best cookbooks of all time. Of all Time!’

  48. Grant, you have to use a thumb-down grip if you want to have any control...

  49. S P

    "So an eatmedaily reader walks into a bar and says to me "Now Alinea's a shopping cart for my cookbook!""

  50. Seth

    "Not bad Achatz, but my Black Truffle Explosion comes in a WHEEL BARREL!"

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